You should sell shares in
- Transport
- Insurance
- Tourism
- Car Makers
- Funeral directors
- Construction
Saturday, 30 June 2007
Please be advised
It has come to my attention that some money making opportunities have opened up.
You should sell shares in
You should sell shares in
Wednesday, 27 June 2007
You don't say
Living in this new era of near free super efficient communication is fantastic. Why just the other day I e-mailed BT customer services which end up with some Indian who politely tells me "...am here to assist you." Just before informing me its not his department so go bother someone else.
So I go bother someone else. He says its not his department either and helpfully transfers me to another department. A computer picks up and offers me a menu. I press '3'. Computer tells me its not its department and hangs up on me. Yes, a fucking computer hangs up on me!
What a great technological advance. How did we cope before.
I'm coming around to the idea of getting a Blackberry. Then I can have some peaseant indian with a degree piss me off regardless of where I am. At least it stops them stealing our credit card data and selling it to the Tamil Tigers.
Of course the alternative is to get someone who could answer my query first time. But then how would BT show off its great communications system if you only had to make one contact and get a relevant reply. Much better to have fifty thousand ways to say get lost instead. That's progress.
So I go bother someone else. He says its not his department either and helpfully transfers me to another department. A computer picks up and offers me a menu. I press '3'. Computer tells me its not its department and hangs up on me. Yes, a fucking computer hangs up on me!
What a great technological advance. How did we cope before.
I'm coming around to the idea of getting a Blackberry. Then I can have some peaseant indian with a degree piss me off regardless of where I am. At least it stops them stealing our credit card data and selling it to the Tamil Tigers.
Of course the alternative is to get someone who could answer my query first time. But then how would BT show off its great communications system if you only had to make one contact and get a relevant reply. Much better to have fifty thousand ways to say get lost instead. That's progress.
Thursday, 21 June 2007
Penance
Things Blair has done in 10 years in office
Please note previous blog updated. Well done YouTube.
- Banned fox hunting
- Destroyed Pensions
- Declared Princess Di the "Peoples' Princess"
- Not saved the NHS in 24 hours
- Killed Dr Kelly
- Not killed Hazel Blears
- Made a dumb blind person Home Sec.
- Made a Scotsman Home Sec.
- Millennium Dome
- Eroded free speech
- Lied about WMD
- Killed 600,00 Iraqis
- Trousered £1m from Ecclestone
- Gave in to pertol duty protestors
- Gave Cherie Blair the chance of putting her face on TV
Please note previous blog updated. Well done YouTube.
Tuesday, 29 May 2007
Monday, 16 April 2007
If you go to the woods today.
Whilst walking through Knighton wood I saw 4 ducks. 3 normal duck coloured and one brown. Brownie was a first sight leading the pack. It quickly became apparent that leading was actually being chased, purposefully.
Lucky ducky.
The frantic zig-zag-ing suggested something a bit more serious than an innocent game of
kiss chase. The largest duck coloured duck caught her. She tried to swiftly change direction but his
weight was too much. She was pinned to the floor.
The 'Prime Directive' prevented me from saving her, so I stayed to watch instead.
One of the other 'suitors' was not going to take sloppy seconds and fought with the large duck. The large duck stepped off brownie to sort out this pathetic rival. Brownie quickly saw her escape and started off away from fat arsed duck. Seeing this, lard arse re-mounted brownie. The self-interested knight resumed his attack.
Quite frankly this was ruinning the whole experience for fat boy, and he resigned himself to an afternoon swimming instead.
A brief respite for Brownie, but its better than gang rape. Then to my astionshment not only did the aggressive-'suitor' not climb on her neither did the voyeur. These weren't potential rapists they were Mum and Dad. Brownies honour has been saved and they lived happily ever after.
Lucky ducky.
The frantic zig-zag-ing suggested something a bit more serious than an innocent game of
kiss chase. The largest duck coloured duck caught her. She tried to swiftly change direction but his
weight was too much. She was pinned to the floor.
The 'Prime Directive' prevented me from saving her, so I stayed to watch instead.
One of the other 'suitors' was not going to take sloppy seconds and fought with the large duck. The large duck stepped off brownie to sort out this pathetic rival. Brownie quickly saw her escape and started off away from fat arsed duck. Seeing this, lard arse re-mounted brownie. The self-interested knight resumed his attack.
Quite frankly this was ruinning the whole experience for fat boy, and he resigned himself to an afternoon swimming instead.
A brief respite for Brownie, but its better than gang rape. Then to my astionshment not only did the aggressive-'suitor' not climb on her neither did the voyeur. These weren't potential rapists they were Mum and Dad. Brownies honour has been saved and they lived happily ever after.
Thursday, 12 April 2007
Its just not cricket
ICC have brought in bans on alcohol being brought into grounds, Walkers crisps, Coke (as in cola) and musical instruments. Why?
ICC seems to be changing its own remit. From an organisation to run the game, under a fairly standard set of rules, internationally to a micro managing monolith. Of course a tournament needs organizing so who better than the ICC to make decisions "Promoting and protecting the game, and its unique spirit."
"Promoting and protecting the game, and its unique spirit" here means generate loads of money for itself. Spend it all on bringing associate members to sufficient strength on the field that they can just get away with making them full members with voting rights. Do one sided matches promote the game? No. Does it protect the game? No. Must be part of its unique spirit then!
Its the 10 votes from full members on the ICC that actually runs the game. Or more preciously its who controls the majority of the votes, controls world cricket.
So who can be trying to gerry-mander the council then?
Well, lets take a look at the last two entrants Zimbabwe and Bangladesh. Who benefits from Zimbabwe's inclusion. England tried to block there inclusion so I doubt its them. I understand India were big supporters of them. As for Bangladesh, aren't they in Asia somewhere? (Which countries are least impacted by the alcohol ban?) Such a plan could only be carried out by someone so determined they would kill to get what they want.
So why has the ICC imposed these silly little rules and regulations? Because the ICC is to focused on "Promoting and protecting the game, and its unique spirit" instead of attracting people to cricket grounds.
Thursday, 5 April 2007
Central Control of The Voters
So our beloved leaders are implementing the next phase of Project CCTV. Having installed a natonal network of cameras they now want to install speakers on them so they can "deter anti-social behaviour". what is anti-social behaviour?
In the near future they can connect the cameras to face recognition software (which already exists). Once the infrastructure to enforce curfews / track particular known "trouble makers" is in place it would be irresponsible not to use it. If you've done nothing wrong you have nothing to worry about. Its only criminals* that will suffer.
How much longer until we hear "for public safety a ban on all public gatherings, for a brief period of time, is regretable but necessary" after some unpopular legislation.
Of course all this takes a lot of resources. How can the rulers afford it? I know, let the proletariats pay for their own prison. Brillant!
You might think even plebs aren't stupid enough to do that. Just tell them its to stop littering (or any other trival event that plebs care about) and they
will be begging to be controlled.
This country started going down hill when universal suffrage was introduced. The sooner we go back to having an elite ruling class the better for everyone!?
*criminal = person who has broken ruling class rules, not society rules.
- urinating in shop doorways
- spitting
- using mobile phones
- careless walking
- putting hands in pockets
- wearing stripped clothing on a spots day
In the near future they can connect the cameras to face recognition software (which already exists). Once the infrastructure to enforce curfews / track particular known "trouble makers" is in place it would be irresponsible not to use it. If you've done nothing wrong you have nothing to worry about. Its only criminals* that will suffer.
How much longer until we hear "for public safety a ban on all public gatherings, for a brief period of time, is regretable but necessary" after some unpopular legislation.
Of course all this takes a lot of resources. How can the rulers afford it? I know, let the proletariats pay for their own prison. Brillant!
You might think even plebs aren't stupid enough to do that. Just tell them its to stop littering (or any other trival event that plebs care about) and they
will be begging to be controlled.
This country started going down hill when universal suffrage was introduced. The sooner we go back to having an elite ruling class the better for everyone!?
*criminal = person who has broken ruling class rules, not society rules.
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