I can exclusively reveal that the above girl is not Madeleine McCann.
Thursday, 27 September 2007
Tuesday, 17 July 2007
Abuse your organ
During our lives the govt steals 43% of our output, but as least we were free when we died. Not anymore.
Some govt stooge wants presume consent for organ donation. Of course we will have an opt out. There will be a govt database for all those who don't want to donate. Fortunately public bodies are infallible, otherwise it would be state sponsored desecration of the dead. [Even Muslim terrorists don't do that.] In short the govt is to take ownership of our bodies upon death [in time they will want it
earlier].
I knew all along that Socialists wanted to nationalise the means of
production, but even I didn't think they would go this far.
I'm going to make a stand. I'm going to drink so much my organs will be useless to
anyone when(if) I die.
Doh! its going to cost me a fortune in tax!
Some govt stooge wants presume consent for organ donation. Of course we will have an opt out. There will be a govt database for all those who don't want to donate. Fortunately public bodies are infallible, otherwise it would be state sponsored desecration of the dead. [Even Muslim terrorists don't do that.] In short the govt is to take ownership of our bodies upon death [in time they will want it
earlier].
I knew all along that Socialists wanted to nationalise the means of
production, but even I didn't think they would go this far.
I'm going to make a stand. I'm going to drink so much my organs will be useless to
anyone when(if) I die.
Doh! its going to cost me a fortune in tax!
Thursday, 12 July 2007
Its rubbish
I have a weekly recycling collection which is great. I leave my recycling box next to my front door and along they
come and empty it.
One of the few things that the council does that just works.
That was until now. Over the last few weeks they have stopped collecting it. Eventually I have to call the council (and talk to someone). Well to be precise I had to call three times before someone answered. Apparently they have had complaints of binmen trampling on peoples flowers. So under council instructions the binmen can no longer enter front gardens. So all householders have to "put out" there boxes on boundary edge.
I have another solution. Why don't the council tell binmen to stop trampling on the flowers?
Isn't this slightly more convenient than getting the whole borough to change their habits.
During the conversation (with what sounded like an Irish gypsy - who else would employ them) it transpires that I now need two boxes - "What you only have one box. No, you need to put your papers into one and your glass, plastics in another. I'll send out another immediately"). So from something that worked I now have to sort and remember to put TWO boxes out. The binmen now have two boxes to empty rather than one. At least I know not all my council tax is being wasted on chocolate biscuits for the councillors.
come and empty it.
One of the few things that the council does that just works.
That was until now. Over the last few weeks they have stopped collecting it. Eventually I have to call the council (and talk to someone). Well to be precise I had to call three times before someone answered. Apparently they have had complaints of binmen trampling on peoples flowers. So under council instructions the binmen can no longer enter front gardens. So all householders have to "put out" there boxes on boundary edge.
I have another solution. Why don't the council tell binmen to stop trampling on the flowers?
Isn't this slightly more convenient than getting the whole borough to change their habits.
During the conversation (with what sounded like an Irish gypsy - who else would employ them) it transpires that I now need two boxes - "What you only have one box. No, you need to put your papers into one and your glass, plastics in another. I'll send out another immediately"). So from something that worked I now have to sort and remember to put TWO boxes out. The binmen now have two boxes to empty rather than one. At least I know not all my council tax is being wasted on chocolate biscuits for the councillors.
Saturday, 30 June 2007
Please be advised
It has come to my attention that some money making opportunities have opened up.
You should sell shares in
You should sell shares in
- Transport
- Insurance
- Tourism
- Car Makers
- Funeral directors
- Construction
Wednesday, 27 June 2007
You don't say
Living in this new era of near free super efficient communication is fantastic. Why just the other day I e-mailed BT customer services which end up with some Indian who politely tells me "...am here to assist you." Just before informing me its not his department so go bother someone else.
So I go bother someone else. He says its not his department either and helpfully transfers me to another department. A computer picks up and offers me a menu. I press '3'. Computer tells me its not its department and hangs up on me. Yes, a fucking computer hangs up on me!
What a great technological advance. How did we cope before.
I'm coming around to the idea of getting a Blackberry. Then I can have some peaseant indian with a degree piss me off regardless of where I am. At least it stops them stealing our credit card data and selling it to the Tamil Tigers.
Of course the alternative is to get someone who could answer my query first time. But then how would BT show off its great communications system if you only had to make one contact and get a relevant reply. Much better to have fifty thousand ways to say get lost instead. That's progress.
So I go bother someone else. He says its not his department either and helpfully transfers me to another department. A computer picks up and offers me a menu. I press '3'. Computer tells me its not its department and hangs up on me. Yes, a fucking computer hangs up on me!
What a great technological advance. How did we cope before.
I'm coming around to the idea of getting a Blackberry. Then I can have some peaseant indian with a degree piss me off regardless of where I am. At least it stops them stealing our credit card data and selling it to the Tamil Tigers.
Of course the alternative is to get someone who could answer my query first time. But then how would BT show off its great communications system if you only had to make one contact and get a relevant reply. Much better to have fifty thousand ways to say get lost instead. That's progress.
Thursday, 21 June 2007
Penance
Things Blair has done in 10 years in office
Please note previous blog updated. Well done YouTube.
- Banned fox hunting
- Destroyed Pensions
- Declared Princess Di the "Peoples' Princess"
- Not saved the NHS in 24 hours
- Killed Dr Kelly
- Not killed Hazel Blears
- Made a dumb blind person Home Sec.
- Made a Scotsman Home Sec.
- Millennium Dome
- Eroded free speech
- Lied about WMD
- Killed 600,00 Iraqis
- Trousered £1m from Ecclestone
- Gave in to pertol duty protestors
- Gave Cherie Blair the chance of putting her face on TV
Please note previous blog updated. Well done YouTube.
Tuesday, 29 May 2007
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