If you go to the woods today.

Whilst walking through Knighton wood I saw 4 ducks. 3 normal duck coloured and one brown. Brownie was a first sight leading the pack. It quickly became apparent that leading was actually being chased, purposefully.
Lucky ducky.
The frantic zig-zag-ing suggested something a bit more serious than an innocent game of
kiss chase. The largest duck coloured duck caught her. She tried to swiftly change direction but his
weight was too much. She was pinned to the floor.
The 'Prime Directive' prevented me from saving her, so I stayed to watch instead.
One of the other 'suitors' was not going to take sloppy seconds and fought with the large duck. The large duck stepped off brownie to sort out this pathetic rival. Brownie quickly saw her escape and started off away from fat arsed duck. Seeing this, lard arse re-mounted brownie. The self-interested knight resumed his attack.
Quite frankly this was ruinning the whole experience for fat boy, and he resigned himself to an afternoon swimming instead.
A brief respite for Brownie, but its better than gang rape. Then to my astionshment not only did the aggressive-'suitor' not climb on her neither did the voyeur. These weren't potential rapists they were Mum and Dad. Brownies honour has been saved and they lived happily ever after.